Do What Makes You Happy; Interview with Jenae Hirsch
Opening up About Mental Health Struggles
“You don’t know what goes on in anyone’s life but your own. When you (affect) one part of a person’s life you (affect) their entire life. Everything affects everything.” –Jay Asher
This was one of the quotes discussed in my interview with 20 year old Jenae Hirsch as we threw around our favorite quotes in what was one of my longest and seemingly philosophical interviews to date.
I chose to interview Jenae after discovering her photography booth at First Friday’s because A.) I loved her photos and B.) She was such a warm person and seemed like she would be open for an interview. Little did I know she is, impressively so, a true creative coper.
The quote above was discussed because during our interview Jenae opened up to me about her struggle with depression and anxiety; which I had no idea just from observing her outgoing and seemingly bright personality.
The Reality of the Helpline
“You meet so many people that when you get down to it that you (can) learn that they have depression or anxiety or any other sort of mental illness. It’s hard to know by looking at someone like ‘yep, she’s depressed,’ or to know if he or she has had depression, you wouldn’t know, there’s no way you could know right away.”
Jenae opened up to me about the fact that she had been admitted to a mental hospital at the age of sixteen where she was diagnosed with depression caused by anxiety.
She told me that her sophomore year of high school she was feeling stress from the prep-school she was attending, anger about a few things, and was upset about an argument she had with someone close to her when she decided to call the helpline.
“When I found the number on the internet I thought it was just somewhere where I could vent and they would talk me through what I was going through. From the things I told them they were actually like, ‘we need to send someone over there’ and I was admitted to a mental hospital for a few weeks.”
Jenae told me that the part she hated most about it was that she was admitted to the mental hospital the last week of school which meant in turn missing her older sister’s high school graduation.
Healing with Horses
That summer Jenae said she attended a Girl Scout camp, Camp Maripai, as a wrangler in training where she said the campers were a huge part in getting her out of her depression.
“I don’t know why anyone would want to be a regular camp counselor when you can be a horse trainer with young wranglers in training,” She tells me, “You get to be associated with horses, their favorite thing at the camp which in turn makes you their favorite person. They associate you with fun which was a boost in getting me out of that depression.”
A Walk in the Woods
She tells me of one camper in particular who made a huge difference in her life without even knowing it, just by one small action.
Jenae says that four years ago this camper, who happened to be quite the artist, drew a picture of Jenae in her camp journal and then tore it out and gave it to her.
On the bottom of the page was the following quote:
“I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees.” –Henry David Thoreau
Jenae told me that the picture she received is currently hanging above her bed and has been since the day she got it. She said it’s moving with her to her new apartment this fall and going right back up in her studio.
The Feeling of Being on Stage
“I was just trying to make it through those weeks, just trying to be okay, so many of the girls were excited to see me, it made me feel so much better about myself and that I wasn’t a disgusting horrible person.”
That summer came to an end and unknowingly to Jenae she would find her passion that next year as she returned to school.
Like I said, I discovered Jenae through her photography so it was a surprise to me (and many others, she tells me) that her first passion in life and her college major is actually a different art form.
She told me that she didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life just yet, she had never realized what she wanted to major in nor had she found something that brought her such happiness as theater did.
Her junior year she said she really got into acting, throwing herself into local productions.
“The Only Thing That I Like Right Now…”
“Let’s face it theater makes me happy, it’s a stupid career choice because it makes not a money maker and it’s extremely unlikely that I’ll ever make anything from it but I finally had to tell myself that, this is the only thing I like right now.”
“Theater was my big help to get out of that big hole I had gotten myself in. I finally had to tell myself that the whole world is going to laugh when I tell them that theater is my major and what I want to do but it’s the only thing that makes me happy so I’m going to go for it.”
Aspiring Actress
“The main reason I wanted to be an actor was because I went to plays and remember having the time of my life. I recognized that the actors were having fun and I was having fun and just remembered feeling, I want to be a part of this.”
Jenae has made sure she is a part of the theater world by studying it in depth at ASU and continuing to put herself in local productions.
Read the rest of Jenae’s journey where she discusses studying abroad and how she has created her own photography business, later this week.
Thank you for sharing your interview. The stigma of mental health issues is a powerful force. I for one am glad Jenae pushed through and that help was there.I hope others will be inspired to reach out for help and will be embraced by caring and supportive resources. Keep up the good work!